We’ve all been there — a day full of stress, frustration, and pent-up emotions that feel like they could boil over at any moment. And sometimes, no matter how many deep breaths you take or how many affirmations you repeat, it just doesn’t feel like enough.
But what if the answer wasn’t just about keeping it together? What if the best thing for your mental health was actually letting go of all that bottled-up emotion in a totally unconventional way? I’m talking about throwing a tantrum.
Yes, you read that right.
Sometimes, your nervous system needs more than just calm—it needs a release. And here’s why having a “safe tantrum” might actually be one of the most healing things you can do for your mind and body.
The Science Behind Emotional Release
It may sound strange, but a well-timed tantrum—done in a safe and intentional way—can be a highly effective mental health tool. Research has shown that unexpressed emotions can be stored in the body, leading to physical and emotional tension. When we suppress or bottle up our anger, frustration, or sadness, it can contribute to everything from chronic stress to increased anxiety and depression.
That’s where the tantrum comes in. Think of it as a release valve for all that pent-up energy. The act of expressing rather than repressing helps your body and mind reset. Here’s what happens when you give yourself permission to throw a tantrum (in a safe, controlled environment, of course):
1. Releases Built-Up Stress & Frustration
Have you ever felt like you’re about to explode, but you don’t know how to let it out? That’s the stress and frustration building up in your body. A tantrum provides an outlet. Through movement and sound, it gives your body the chance to release that stored tension.
2. Regulates Your Nervous System
Physical release, like stomping or shouting, can help shift your nervous system out of “fight or flight” mode. The movement helps to calm your body’s heightened response, while the vocal release helps to discharge any emotional charge that’s been building. This makes it easier for you to find calm and regain a sense of control.
3. Prevents Emotional Bottling (And the Breakdown Later)
If you’ve ever held back tears or anger until it all came out in a big meltdown, you know how much harder it is to handle your emotions when they’ve been stored up for too long. A tantrum prevents that future emotional explosion by giving you an intentional, healthy way to let it out before it gets too much to handle.
4. Expresses Anger Without Hurting Yourself or Others
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But how we express it is key. Throwing a tantrum in a safe space allows you to express your anger without harming yourself or others. It’s a way of venting that feels cathartic and productive, rather than destructive.
5. Reconnects You with Your Body & Inner Child
There’s something profoundly healing about tapping into your inner child and letting yourself express emotions the way you did when you were younger—without inhibition. A tantrum allows you to reconnect with that playful, authentic part of yourself, which can be incredibly grounding for your mental health.
How to Safely Throw a Tantrum
This isn’t about screaming at others or letting out all your frustrations in a harmful way. Instead, it’s about finding a safe space to let it all out and give your body the release it needs. Here’s how to do it:
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Find a private, safe space: Go somewhere where you can’t hurt yourself or others. Maybe it’s your bedroom, a bathroom, or another space where you can let loose without fear of judgment.
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Release your emotions: Let it all out. Scream into a pillow, stomp your feet, punch a mattress, or flail your arms like a toddler who didn’t get their way. Go ahead—throw your best tantrum.
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Breathe, stretch, and hydrate: Once the tantrum is over, take some time to breathe deeply, stretch your muscles, and drink some water. Your body has just gone through a big emotional release, so take care of it afterward. You may feel emotionally drained at first, but don’t worry—this is a sign of healing.
Why This Is Somatic Self-Care
A tantrum isn’t about being “dramatic” or acting out—it’s a form of somatic self-care. Somatic healing refers to body-centered practices that help release trauma or tension from the body. You’re giving your body the opportunity to express itself without holding everything inside. It’s a form of self-compassion and self-regulation that allows you to move through your emotions in a healthy way.
Your body wasn’t meant to hold everything in. And sometimes, the most powerful form of self-care is releasing what no longer serves you.
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Remember: It’s okay to not be okay, and sometimes, it’s okay to throw a tantrum. It’s all part of the healing journey. 💛